Commander Storvik, USS Murgatroid

I admit to being quite surprised. I am, of course, aware of the antipathy felt by some at Starfleet Command for Doctor Mib Khan; due to his practices of cannibalism, cloning, and non-consensual experimentation upon Starfleet personnel. I am also aware of their desire to maintain possession, control, and scrutiny over both my analog Evil Storvik and our daughter T'Sorvik. Still, in her last communication, Admiral Nechayev has either authorized, or ordered, me to implement General Order Twenty-Four against Khanworld due to his/their most recent actions.

General Order Twenty-Four is an order to destroy all life on a specified planet, when the given planet is actively hostile towards the Federation and presents a clear and present danger. To the best of my recollection, it has only been invoked twice (but never executed) over a century ago (by Captain James Tiberius Kirk against Eminiar VII, and Fleet Captain Garth of Izar against Antos IV). It remains on the books, but is little known (it is possible that I am the only one on the USS Murgatroid who is aware of it, having taken command-level courses at Starfleet Academy; unless mention of it was also included in the diplomacy major studied by Ensign MacAllister). Normally, any captain who ordered such a measure (even if it were not carried out) would have to justify that order at an inquiry later – unless, as in this case, such an order were already pre-approved (or mandated) from above.

I do not anticipate carrying out this order, nor do I think it is (strictly speaking) necessary – as long as I regain custody of those whom Khan has abducted. Still, to paraphrase the late Ambassador Sarek of Vulcan, "my logic is uncertain where my child is concerned."

As soon as we left Deep Space Nine, I began to filter through the many reports from station security about the chaos caused by Doctor(s) Mib Khan and the crew of the USS Murgatroid. After a short time, security found it easier to simply record everything done by the crew, rather than watch and report upon infractions – so I had a record of all comings and goings by the Khan clones that were observed by Deep Space Nine's security officers.

In a matter of minutes, I had been able to establish (by the times and locations of these sightings) that there were far more than the usual five Khans present on the station (six, actually, including the one which was already on DS9). I contacted the sickbay's computers and examined the logs of Khan's cloning apparatus (something which would have been difficult, though not impossible, for me before I was acting Captain; but now within the ability of my command overrides). The extra Khans did not originate on the Murgatroid – which means that they were most likely from Khanworld.

Unfortunately, there were no Khan clones left on the Murgatroid for me to question – and even if there were, I recalled that the millions of Khanworld Khans were no longer performing ansible updates with the Khans on the Murgatroid. I would likely have gained nothing by interrogating one. Of course, neither would I have had anything to lose, since individual Khan clones are not considered "people" in reference to murder and torture regulations.

Still, I close not to reactivate the cloning apparatus at this time. Should we need a doctor, I would do so; but for the moment, I considered that the ship and I might be better off without a Khan onboard.

I made a quick report of the recent incidents, along with my theories and conclusions, and forwarded a copy to both the commander of Deep Space Nine and the Admirals aboard the station as well. Since they did not wish for Evil Storvik or T'Sorvik to evade their control, they may be of assistance in procuring their return. I was fully aware, as I did this, that I might be causing myself additional trouble in the future, when/if my family is recovered – no doubt the security around them would be increased to prevent future abductions, which would also hinder our own plans for freedom.

Upon beaming aboard the Murgatroid, my first act was to ask Ifix about the status of the repair efforts – according to his earlier estimates, they should not be complete for another three days. "Almost done. Might hold," he said to me. "Don't get shot at." I authorized our undocking from Deep Space Nine, and asked navigator Ditzbrain whether or not she had been given a heading other than "Away, fast."

I ran through the corridors of Deep Space Nine, carrying an unconscious Captain Terminal, on my way to the Mustang on section five of the docking ring. I was uncertain as to why Foltan asked me to do this rather than beaming us over. I had thought to make an arrangement with Terminal and Foltan to help my … family … and I evade the authorities for a time while we raised our daughter, T'Sorvik; but for reasons unknown, Mib Khan has kidnapped her. "Evil" Storvik is not responding to my hails, so he has been incapacitated and/or is also with Khan and T'Sorvik – either voluntarily or not. My wife T'Vit does not reply to my hails either; they could not have taken T'Sorvik from her without incapacitating – or taking – her as well.

"Would that Counsellor Lothar were here," I thought; possibly for the first time. "Storvik to Mustang," I called as I approached her berth. "Foltan, have any ships just left the station?"

"Four," Foltan replied. "Three have already gone into warp and left the system, all in different directions."

"Here is your companion," I said, as the airlock opened and I carried Terminal into the Mustang.

My commbadge chirped. "Multiple Khans drugged me and took your daughter," my wife stated. "The drug wore off quickly, so they cannot have been gone long."

"I may be back, or in contact, soon," I told Foltan as he took Terminal. "Storvik to Murgatroid," I paged next on my commbadge.

"USS Murgatroid, Heavens here," I heard in response.

"Are any Khans present on the ship?" I asked first, and she responded in the negative. "See if you can locate any on the station, and also see if you can track any that have left – particularly on any of the recently-departed ships."

Captain Terminal is here. He does not, however, seem to recall how he got here, nor indeed where he is. Assuming his ship is nearby, and both it – and he – are spaceworthy, perhaps we could escape with him – or his ship – once my business with the Admiralty is concluded here.

I shall have to wait for him to sober up and recover from his hangover. From past experience, and from the pungent haze of alcohol fumes surrounding him, that may take some time.

My wife T'Vit is required to tend to T'Sorvik for me while I meet with the Admiralty, as her other parent Evil Storvik has gotten intoxicated with Doctor(s) Khan. "You don't know whud ish like bein' shtuck on dat prissy Feddie Vulcan!" he slurred. I assured him that I did – after all, he was there to take my place so that I could leave, an arrangement to which he had originally agreed in order to ensure the security of our daughter … and to assist the Federation in defending against its counterparts from his "mirror" universe (in which a significant element of self-preservation was involved).

T'Vit, who has grown to understand me more than any other, knew that I was considering taking Evil Storvik and T'Sorvik with me, to "rescue" them from the interference in their lives and her upbringing which would occur on Vulcan. "You never consider into 'the long term'," T'Vit pointed out to me. "If you flee with them on the USS Murgatroid, Starfleet will simply pursue. They will be declared fugitives, and you will be punished. From past experience, you ought to be able to calculate the low probability of evading Starfleet Command for more than a limited duration."

"This is the best chance we have to take them away," I replied. "We are still working on the next step in the plan, which is 'staying away'. However, if we wait until our plans are complete, covering every contingency, before we act; then the opportunity will be lost and we shall never accomplish our goal. It may be that, once we get away from Deep Space Nine, we will also have to leave the Murgatroid."

"You shall not leave without me," T'Vit stated, ending the conversation.

Our mission accomplished, I have been occupied with making my final reports to the Admiralty and coordinating the extensive repairs required by the USS Murgatroid. The latter requires less of my time than one would expect, as Chief Engineer Ifix has matters (and a great deal of fur) well in hand. The former requires quite a bit of time, in spite of the fact that I was not actually present on the Murgatroid when the ISS Voyager exploded. There is a third task which would normally be my responsibility as well, that of overseeing the crew's shore leave while the ship is repaired – that task, however, I have delegated to Chief Medical Officer Mib Khan and his clones (there was only one Khan remaining when the Murgatroid was recovered, but he has since repaired his devices and replenished his number). Unfortunately, I erred when giving Khan his initial orders. I instructed him to "keep the crew's chaos under control", which caused him to:

• Lead the crew in creating (what was, in his judgement) a "sufficient level" of chaos. "I can't control the chaos if it's not there," he later slurred to me.
• (Oxymoronically) "organize" the chaos for maximum dispersal throughout Deep Space Nine. "I was in full control of it the entire time," he insisted.

Somehow, in the midst of this, Evil Storvik was able to find and approach me with his own concerns. He has decided not to "subject" our daughter T'Sorvik to the combination of a typical Vulcan educational upbringing and a childhood spent under observation by the Vulcan Science Academy. I find myself in full agreement with his decision – inevitable, given my own experiences in the Vulcan educational system – but we are, as yet, undecided upon a means of implementing said decision.

When the Admiralty leaves DS9 on the USS Sovereign, they will be expecting him to accompany them. This insistence will, if necessary, take the form of armed security officers and force field-restricted accommodations. If the Murgatroid is able to leave DS9 first, it may be possible to take "Evil" Storvik and T'Sorvik with us. Normally, this would be impossible – but with IFix accelerating the repairs of the Murgatroid, I may be able to stall the Admiralty and delay their departure enough that we could leave before them. Khan has inadvertently assisted in stalling the Admiralty by setting a new personal record of disciplinary infractions incurred in a single day.

Aboard a shuttle en route to the USS Cairo:

After Lothar left Surak's Razor (1, 2), Lieutenant Heavens asked, "Now what do we do?"

"We wait," replied Dr. Khan. "He said he was getting help."

"Actually," Storvik corrected, "he said that he would 'take care of it' without clarifying the antecedent of 'it'. We are waiting, but we do not know for what."

A noise echoed through the hull of Surak's Razor as a shuttle from the USS Cairo mated to her airlock. "I think we were waiting for that," said Dr. Khan, achieving the last word.

"Good call, pointy," Lothar sneered.

On most ships in Starfleet, a comment like that would generally lead to the invocation of General Order LXIX and disciplinary action. General Order LXIX bans any and all terms and innuendos which are offensive and/or derogatory. The late KY Jellico, former captain of the USS Murgatroid, was once charged with over a hundred violations of this order.

Language, particularly those informal elements thereof known as "slang", change greatly over the years, decades, and centuries. Jellico, who had made a hobby of studying Terran twentieth century "popular culture", knew that the number sixty-nine was, itself, once considered an offensive term – and thus, anyone who invoked General Order LXIX was, themself, in violation of it.

(It is irony such as this which causes Vulcans to postulate that humanity is the victim of "Unintelligent Design". This is a theory which states that Terran evolution, both biological and social, was guided by one or more advanced entities as a kind of "practical joke" inflicted upon the rest of the galaxy.)

When the charges were brought against Jellico, he insisted that the entire "chapter and verse" of the charges be read into the court record. He then immediately called for counter-charges against the prosecution and produced evidence from twentieth-century literature (including, I believe, a literary pamphlet entitled "Hustler") to corroborate his claims that "sixty-nine" was an offensive term covered by General Order LXIX. The judge had no choice but to agree.

Charges were dropped, and the court recording was sealed (to prevent other cases of G.O.69 being similarly overturned). Jellico's gambit has been referred to since, in legal circles, as "The Jellico Defense" – as stated by Jellico, the Jellico Defense consists of "making the prosecutors into co-defendents, so that they won't try very hard for a guilty verdict."