Commander Storvik, USS Murgatroid (storvik) wrote,
Commander Storvik, USS Murgatroid

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Lieutenant Daremo

I may have been remiss in my duties in not providing sufficient detail of the nature of Lieutenant Daremo's medical condition, and how Counsellor Lothar inflicted them upon him. This is a brief summary.

First, it is necessary to go back to "Mardi Gras", when Captain K.Y. Jellico (currently missing) asked me how we found the alcohol nebula. I explained, using rough analogies and oversimplification – this was Jellico who asked, after all.

I started with fireworks. The Captain loves fireworks. I explained to him that different metals, when burned, glow in different colors; which is how they create fireworks in different colors. I told him that burning an unknown substance to see the color of the flame produced is one of the ways of determining what it is made of. I then went on to explain that astronomers were able to analyze the composition of various heavenly bodies (at this point, Jellico was distracted for about fifteen minutes by a passing group of topless crewwomen) by analyzing the light we received from them. Terran scientists, centuries ago, found the first nebula containing alcohol through this method.

The captain was impressed by this explanation. Lothar, standing nearby, also heard this explanation, and was equally impressed. Later, when Lothar overheard Daremo saying some rather uncomplimentary things about him, he decided to set Daremo on fire, as "an experiment" to "see what this little bastard is made of."

There is enough blame to go around that no official charges are being recommended against any crewmember for this incident, although Lothar appears hurt that he wasn't given a commendation for his "work to advance science and improve the quality of life aboard the USS Murgatroid." I explained that I already had enough paperwork to go through as it was, and thus felt neither formal charges nor commendations were worth any extra effort on my part.

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